I miss you. I really do.
I don’t know why everything just HAD to go so fucking sour, but I also know that you are not 100% to blame. partly, yes, but partly me and partly he as well.
I just wish that there had never been any sneakyness.
Had we (and you and he) been up front and open from the very beginning, I can guarantee you that things would be MUCH different right now, and you would still be part of our lives.
Instead, a small (seemed important at the time but really) insignificant moment of indiscretion has torn apart the entire fabric of our friendship.
I fucking hate that.
I hate that you did not have enough respect for me to simply ASK first.
I would have said yes.
There never would have been the terrible awkwardness that tore us all apart.
I fucking miss you.
On the same hand, i know that I can never trust you again.
It has been with every fiber of my being that I have been able to trust HIM, and I simply have no trust fibers left for you.
The blame had to go somewhere, and so it fell on the one that I did not Love like the other.
Which is not to say that I didn’t love you, that is just to say that I loved you in a different way, and for a shorter period of time.
And, you were the one who still clung to the spider.
Do you have any idea how terribly terribly she hurt him? Accusing him the way she did? He NEVER hurt her.
I don’t give a shit what kinds of fabricated bullshit she feeds you, that girl is a LIAR. She is a manipulative, spiteful cunt and she absolutely devastated him when she accused him of THAT. And you stick by her.
This is so far beyond intolerable, and so coupled with everything else, it was you who had to leave us.
And I still miss you.
I miss drawing, and I miss taking vicodin and listening to music and using each others bodies as a temporary canvas for art.
I fucking miss you and it hurts and that sucks.
And I wish with everything that I have, that it could have been so much different.
But, I am a capricorn, and once you are on THAT list…you stay there.
I told you in the beginning there was very little a person could do, to get on THAT list with me…and you did it.
It was like a big fucking red button that you had to push…just to see.
God damnit why.
I fucking miss you.
In between crafting in SWTOR (as my computer is not quite beefy enough to really play during the high server use times at the moment), I decided to do some spinning. I wanted to do something with a lower twist, a little thicker, and so I pulled out a lovely top gifted to me by pronouncedlab_eth a few weeks ago. This is only half of the top, mostly because I got impatient but also because I wasn’t sure if I wanted to do a single or a 2ply, so the other half might be a single.
Anyway, the colorway is Wicked, but we all think of EVA unit 01 instead when looking at it. 82 yds, heavy aran-bulky.
ETA: This is Corriedale, from Woolen Mill St. Sorry for forgetting to put that in!
Via Fibercrack
Having gotten a new spinning book on more textured yarns, I decided to give one of them a shot since I just wasn’t feeling the laceweight BFL/silk single I’d been spinning. This is what’s called a ‘racing stripe’ yarn in the book and while it curls a little individually, the yarn is actually pretty balanced for being a single. Also, I really liked the result; it looks interesting and it was so easy to make and it really showed off some of the colors better than I think my other plans did.
Prince of Talok III
weight: sport
yardage: 112 yds
spun: laceweight single (z) spun in with the single (s)
Via Fibercrack
